waiting

finally got my haircut. Yes it is shoulder length now. Much neater.. the only problem is, i look like a school girl. I cant decide if i like it or not...and this time, even grandmother AGREED with me and said it looks like a school girl haircut...

Admiring girls with long hair now. I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

btw, i think i look darker now.

Had a quiet afternoon out alone. It is nice to be away frm the crowds since the school term has started. Strolling in the shopping centre, feeling calmer.

Finally, things r starting to slow down.

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I wont deny that looking at past pictures still make me emotional. Will i EVER get over this stage.

What i am holding on are memories. I still question myself...if there is anything else i could hv done to make it work.

At the same time, i feel that i cant live that way anymore.

Someone tell me this is normal. Eventually i will learn and accept that perhaps there is another girl out there better for him (And that i will accept that fact that the girl is better for him and i am not the one).

No, i did not say i am over him. Moving on takes time... see, the logical daphne is talking now. Logic and emotions dont always go well together.

There is progression. I can send him off without feeling sad like i used to. Does that mean i am slowly moving on? If it is just memories i am holding on to...then i shall hv to make use of my time instead of brooding over past memories.

I know i hv pangs of overwhelming emotions running through me occasionally. My decision still stands....as painful as it is. I miss the physical and emotional closeness... but that is something that i can deal with. I survived alright previously without a r/s and will continue to do so.

I hv an internal debate within me regarding this. My tears run freely yet at the same time, i feel angry that i feel that way.

The grass is greener on the other side. It is greener. For him and for myself.

Da de dum.

I just hv to accept that it takes time..and i shldnt rush.

Like i always say....waiting is the hardest part. I am waiting for the day where i can accept the memories... and build better ones.