Words in a Marriage

Every year around this time, I am reminded of the blessings and challenges of marriage. A quick blink and here we are, on our 3rd year mark. Has it been 3 years since we committed to each other?

In year 1, I learned how to make marriage a choice in our daily lives. In year 2, I learned that we complement each other by using our strengths.

This year?

I learned how powerful words are in a marriage. Words are not just alphabets string together to mean something. It's how we say it and how we use it that matters. Yes, we all had moments when we say things we don't mean- and find it hard to take back. Words can single handily bring a person down or up.

I learned that he stands up stronger when  I say I believe in him. I noticed that he held his head up higher when I complemented him. The reverse is true, he noticed and encouraged me to meet my fitness goals. He  told me that my work is precious and he is so proud of me. He complemented my cooking and polish out my cookie jar.

Belief is such a funny thing. You can't see it but you can feel it. And when we feel it, we can see it in our body language and attitude.

You may think, it's only easy to be positive and uplifting when one is happy. Well, this past 12 months has been challenging. Role changes, family situations, health challenges, moving (more on that later)... it takes all our effort to remain affirmative towards each other. These are the moments that tests a marriage. One minute that we take our eyes off our marriage, the satan strikes.

Because I learned that if we don't believe in each other, then who else will? If we don't build each other up, then who will?

It doesn't mean that we are hypocrites who are not honest and continued to smile through mistakes. It means we acknowledge that ok, this isn't going well but let's not play the blame game and what's our next move. Because we believe it can be done. I am responsible for the decision as much as he does and verse versa. Now, this is hard. It's one of the hardest thing I have done. The blame game is so much easier most days. To say we are a team, no.. we are the team.

My prayer for the next year is that I will be the uplifting and positive wife. God knows how much this is a challenge to me more than to Him. Sometimes, I wonder how can he be so uplifted when I haven't been? But it comes back to filling the gap and knowing that love is wondrous.

To another year ahead. To a lifetime of curveballs.

To my husband of 3 years... Happy 3rd Year Anniversary.. and many more to come.