update

30th of Dec. It marks the first birthday that i spent with peggy and ruth since i left singapore. After 5 years of not celebrating birthdays with them, that day meant alot to us. Considering we carry the date with us everywhere we go (engraved on the ring that we wear on our right hand). We couldnt stop chatting.. probably hoping for time to stand as we talk about our past, present and future.

This week is family orientated. Hving attended a family dinner on new year's eve...well, come to think of it, it had been years since all of us sat together for a decent meal. My uncle n his family were back frm china for a brief hol and so we took the chance to celebrate gran's birthday early. Deon, my 11 year old cousin has grown taller and definitely more talkative;questioning everything he wants an answer to. My uncle even attempted to give me a hug which feels really weird..really really weird..

Spending more time with grandma is great. Headed down to chinatown this morning with her n dad. Walking around the chinatown market reminded me of how expensive food is in Australia. One BIG piece of salmon costs 8 bucks wheras we probably hv to pay at least 10 bucks in australia for it. I shall stop talking like an aunty and move on..

Got my new spects. Have to change my contacts to the astigmatism one. real expensive too. Have 2 more trials before i decide to order it. Should i or should i not? I realised that astigmatism, sensitive and dry eyes probably run in my family too. Since my mother, aunt and uncle all have the same problem...

Attended a wedding dinner sat night that was quite boring for me. I knew no one there. NOt even the bride and groom. Gran asked me to go and since grandaunt cant be there, i hv to take her place. Everyone on my table r aged 60 and above...with common topics ranging from food, health to children.... Had to endure talks about "how 'big' i hv become'-probably referring to my age and gran's (who is a really young gran btw..) but cant help but makes me wonder if that is a reference to my size as well. hrmph. It is so weird that the elders know me but i hv no recollection of them. Can vaguely remember gran telling me 'see that uncle over there, he bought u rice when u were in pri sch"- i think the pri sch bit explains why i cant remember, esp since if i hv only seen him once. My mobile was on my lap throughout the night, waiting for ppl to msg me..or if i can take the chance to msg ppl. Attending a wedding that u know NO ONE except for the person next to u is just....bad. Ok, so the waiter serving our table is cute., but that's about it.

Speaking of wedding, planning peg's wedding 3 years in advance is cool. Got to do it someday again. :p

At the watchnight service last night, the sermon hit me really hard. 1)let go of the past. 2) u hv a titus somewhere. Thanks to all my titus'.

Time flies. My sunday school teacher is now married and expecting her 1st child. Josephine is expecting her 2nd... Joshua is probably 3 to 4 years now anyway. Had a long chat with huiping, she encouraged me to do some relief teaching, but thinks that one mth is too short. It was interesting talking to her and seeing a teacher's perspective on learning disabilities. Not only that, to get an inside view on what is going on a teachers mind when they encounter these children. Was surprised to hear that parents get their maids to act as an aid to the child in class.

tired. church in the morning, lunch with zinnia n gang..and a dinner..that i am not sure if i really want to go.

Feeling a little down. Wondering if things will look up again. Logic tells me it will, but i think i am going through a sceptical phrase again. Trying to be optimistic...sometimes, i wish i do not have to worry about these things and just let it go and do whatever i like. Perhaps hving a sense of responsibility or just wanting the best out of everything isnt good afterall. Yet at the same time, i cant just let it go.... too sensitive of an issue. Too many ppl will potentially get hurt (one is more than enough).

I am tired. Going to bed.