Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Great Grandmother

I woke up this morning with the thought "goodness, I'm on my 10th week in this placement." The worse is, I'm still look clueless around here.

It occurred to me that as one gets older, time seems to fly past faster. During my primary and secondary school days, the days don't seem to end. I slept at 2am and woke up at 5:30am- surviving with 3 hours of sleep a day. I can never seem to do that again. Now, the weekend goes as fast as it arrives.

Weekdays are worse. Yup, so 3 days of placement seems a decent amount of time spent in DSC. Factoring in meetings (part of the placement objectives is for me to attend dozen or so meetings), travelling time, preparing for sessions, supervision, talking to other professionals abour their roles in the cases I'm handling, calling up clients and school psychologist... oh crap, there goes the 3 days! Woohoo.

The same goes with the 2 days of research and tutoring.

So there you go, time flies so fast that it is my great-grandmother's 14th year death anniversary this Sunday.

My memory of her is an elderly women, who loves a good joke, takes care of her grandchildren with love and care, and always have a kind word for her only great grand child. Without her, Irene and Ivy would not have gotten the care they needed.

I remembered that friday. I visited her in Tan Tock Seng Hospital with my mother. She requested for a cup of 7-up. My mother and I were surprised and happy. My great-grandmother asked for SOMETHING! We rushed out to the hospital canteen. Nope, we couldnt find any 7-up anywhere (for some reason, the hospital canteen doesnt sell other soft drinks besides Pepisi and coke). Oh no, we panicked. We can't go back without the 7-up! She asked for it! She hasnt asked for anything in days! Finally, we found a vending machine with Sprite. Close enough. On the way back, we picked up some pandan cake-thinking that since that's her favourite cake and that she is having a good day today, she might finally eat something. Great grandmother greeted us with a weak smile and sat up with the pillow behind her. "7-up?" she asked. We apologised and said we could only find Sprite. She took a sip of it. I could see the joy in her face, the sweetness of the drink going through her. "Slow down!" my mother and I said. She didnt. After drinking like 1/4 of the cup, she reached for the pandan cake. She took a slice of it ALL BY HERSELF.

My mother and I left that night, thinking that she must be getting better.

Sunday morning came and went. I loved attending Sunday School and that day was no exception. My parents came to pick me up and we went out for lunch and an outing to IMM. On the way back, my mother recieved a call. She looked at dad and said "should we tell her?" I was like "tell me what?". Mother said "Ah tai passed away a few hours ago."

I was quiet. A 9 1/2 year old girl could not comprehend death. We were still in the car when mum told me how she died. Ah tai had a shower and even a light meal. She was sitted, leaning against the hospital bed towards the bright sunshine. Grandmother said she was peaceful- she looked happy and serene.

I did not cry. Not until the day of her cremation. Then the shock really hit me. Ah tai is gone. I saw her coffin lowered to the furnace/burner. I cried and refused to pull away from the metal railings. Irene and Ivy were with me. No adults could pull us back. We wanted her back.

I was told that on Saturday, most of my family members visited her. The Friday that I visited her was Good Friday. She died on Sunday-the day I always rememberered as how Jesus brought her back to the heavens with Him. This year, the date coincide with the Good-friday weekend again.

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