Extension of Time- Our 5th Wedding Anniversary

Has it been 5 years?

5 years since we said our vows.

5 years since we held our epic 3 weddings across 3 countries in 2 weeks?

I chose to write this post a little later because... I have to pause. To take it in. While we signed our papers on the 24th April, we maintained that we celebrate our anniversary on the 1st May- simply because it's where our traditional ceremony and church wedding took place. Truth be told though, that we just pick the date when we can take time together so it changes every where when we "celebrate" it.

5 years later, we learned a few things. The biggest change this year, is of course the arrival of our son Asher. You could say that between year 4-5 of our marriage, we have to grow quickly. We learned how having a child can strengthen and provide challenges to a marriage. We learned about our weaknesses and vulnerabilities even more. We also learn how to make us a "family".

Time will always be our biggest challenge. You would think me being at home means more time (ah, maybe I should document what I do at home one day in a post!), but in actual fact, it means as a couple we can lead even more separate lives than ever. Hubby works, wife looks after the house and baby- when we come together, we talk about our day and what happened.  However, it is very very challenging to sit and have long conversations about our plans and feelings. When we do sit down in the evening, it would be the night when Asher's teeth will bother him, or he decides that he needs more settling than usual to sleep.

So we have to learn to adapt. We take long walks with Asher in the evening for around 2-3 times a week. Not only do we get to exercise, but we relish in catching up about what we have been thinking about. As a wife, I make a mental note to really listen to what's happening at his work. Yes, I may not be working now, but that does not mean my husband working life isn't important to me. I listened to his concerns and his excitement (even in computer lingo). I told myself to take in the moment and enjoy being with my husband rather than to make mental lists in my head on what to do next.

We decided that on weekends, we will have at least one family lunch outside of the home. It's really lovely to be able to explore cafes and new places to eat. That is one thing hubby and I love doing pre baby and we decided this is one thing that needs to be continued post baby as well. Preparation is everything of course, but thankfully, Asher loves his food and usually can be entertained with his own toys and rusks for 20-30 minutes while we enjoy a meal together.

I also learned about myself. I learned that I want my hubby to love me first. This may sound selfish as of course I want him to love our little boy. But sometimes, I would prefer him to look after me. It's so easy to fall down the trap of having the focus all on Asher, than it is nice when he offered me a back rub or to cook me dinner. It took a while for the both of us to realised that we have to look after each other while we look after Asher.

Which also means my hubby wants me to love him first. It's hard and I do forget, but what happened to "how was your day" when he walked in the door? Instead, I bombard him with what happened to Asher's day. Even if I do that, I try to stop myself and make a note to really be there and listen to him. I started making different sorts of breakfasts and snacks for him so that when he wakes up, everything is done. He just need to grab his lunch and snacks, and heat up his breakfasts. It's funny but men does liked to be looked after in little ways like this. I try to take over some things he usually does so that he can have stress free time with Asher over the weekends.

We set little traditions as a family. Day trips, long car rides, or just simply chilling at home over home made banana berries ice cream. We realised that even after 5 years, it is those small things that we treasure. We have God first, then us, then Asher. It is the HARDEST prioritising thing we have done and still is trying to tweak and do. I suspect this is one of those things that we have to keep a pulse on.

Last year I wrote about spending time together. This year, it extends further than that. This year, it is about how we put each other ahead of being parents. One that we continue to strive and do.

Happy Anniversary my dear hubby- I'm in awe that we have spent the last 5 years together married. Five amazing ups and downs years. 5 years today, we held our traditional wedding ceremony. 5 years ago, we prayed that we will remember this day. We are here now and more to come.

Berry Coconut Cake

Recently I met up with a girlfriend of mine who has decided that she will be a stay at home mum when her baby arrives. For me though, the decision isn't clear.

I'm really lucky that I am able to take a full year off- a combination of paid and unpaid leave with some government incentives. It does not come without sacrifice as it would potentially mean slowing down my career progression as my peers continue to chug on with gaining more experience and going for trainings. It also does not mean I do not enjoy this time off. The ability to concentrate on my child and family is precious and priceless.

Asher is now approaching 8 months. Sooner or later, I will have to make a decision. To return to work or not? To change pathways? To stay at home? All these weigh up in my mind. Personally, I enjoyed my work before Asher and certainly missed being able to operate in that capacity (plus the adult conversations).

Then it's the question on how do I juggle with work and family. Do women really have the balance? Or will I get to the stage where I really do MISS work and have a break away from Asher? How about the guilt most women face while not spending time with their child.

My husband- the ever supportive partner recommends me taking more time off so that Asher will be older when he attends day care. He likes having me home. It makes life simpler and he thinks we are happier. I like being home too. Although I know that I don't hate work that much either.

And so what do I do when I ponder? I bake of course.

This is another of Teresa Cutter's recipe- I loved it! It's moist and coconuty.  She made it in two layers and coated it with frosting. I made mine in a single layer and made an avocado banana cacao frosting.  It is a lot of eggs but hey, they are good for you. The frosting? I can't believe I have not posted this before- it's AWESOME and it can be a pudding as well. That cake with a mug of coffee or tea is just divine for afternoon tea.

Berry Coconut Cake  (Cut into 12 serves)
6 eggs
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/3 cup of coconut oil
2 tsp of baking powder
1 tsp of vanilla paste
1 cup of frozen berries
1 tablespoon of honey.

Preheat Oven to 180C. Line cake tin with baking paper.

Whisk eggs, honey and vanilla in cake mixer till it foams and becomes light. Fold in dry ingredients to wet. Spoon into cake tin and bake it for 45 minutes. Cool and frost with your favourite frosting.

Banana Avocado Cacao Frosting
1 banana
1 avocado
1/3 cup of cacao powder
1 tsp of honey

Blitz everything up!! Eat it as it is or use it as a frosting.

Paleo Lemon Chai Muffins and My Trip Away

Oops! It's the month of March already? I promised I would blog more but I was away for a good reason. We took our first plane trip as a family back to KL and SG to celebrate CNY. Alas, I had to stay a few weeks more to look after my grandmother who was in hospital.

Family portrait before granny was admitted. I love this shot of my family and us!

It was a very traumatic few weeks as we had to call an ambulance and witness my beloved grandmother being in ICU and intubated. She is a strong lady and gradually responded to the treatment. I was so pleased that she is home, that I could barely let her off my sight and monitored all her food and vitals closely.

This episode also taught me family love. Relatives from Hong Kong flew back to be beside her. Grandmother's sister stayed with us for a few days to care and cook for her. Through her, I learned more home cooked cantonese dishes which I'm keen to replicate at home. My mother learned how to make soups and I learned a few more slow cooked Chinese soups (you can literally hear the glee in my husband's voice here). I get to spend more time with my family including my parents. Of course, it means that Asher gets to meet heaps of his uncles and aunties, grand uncles and grand aunties, cuddles from many relatives that he wouldn't be able to meet or greet otherwise.

Hubby and I were also apart for a few weeks as he had to fly back to work. It was a tough few weeks as I learned how to juggle

All these though, brought us closer as a family unit. I can't wait to see my parents and grandmother again. I have learned to appreciate time- and be in the moment even more. 

I'm back sharing this recipe by Slim Palate. I have only recently discovered Joshua (who is 18 by the way and cooking fabulous food) and his blog. Browsing through his story makes me ashamed of how basic and simple my cooking is compared to his! He comes up with amazing real food recipes and this one caught my eye.  I love how he used chia seeds as "poppy" and use of apple cider vinegar to give it a tang.

I have been experimenting more with coconut flour and is growing to LOVE it. The dense nature of this flour means more liquid has to be added. But once the right ratio is achieved, it provides unlimited experimentation of different cakes and treats. I increased the baking soda in this recipe as I find it gives it more of a lift and a lighter feel to the muffins.  Since I love my lemons, I added more zest and juice as well. I think I can make further improvements- it's still a little more dense for my liking so I might add some other raising agent. Certainly more lemons will be better as well. There is always a next time!

Paleo Lemon Chia Muffins (makes around 8 for me)
1/2 cup of coconut flour
2 tablespoon of chia seeds
1/2 tsp baking soda
zest from 2.5 lemons
4 tablespoon of lemon juice
1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar
pinch of salt
1/2 cup of almond milk
1 tsp of honey
4 eggs
1/4 coconut oil

Preheat Oven to 180C. Line liners into muffin trays.

Whisk dry ingredients (coconut flour, chia seeds, baking soda, and salt) together. In a separate jug, whisk all wet ingredients such as the juice, vinegar, almond milk, honey, eggs, oil and zest. Pour wet to dry and fold.  Bake for 25 minutes. Cool and eat.

Avocado Banana Bread

Having some bananas that are turning brown (or black should I say) in my pantry, I decided to make a quick and easy banana bread for breakfast. This is more for hubby than for myself as the poor man has been waking up at 6am sometimes 5:30 to get to work early, just so that he can spend more time with his little man in the evening. As such, we found it works best that he has a "heat and go breakfast".

I'm really fortunate in the sense that hubby has always been very supportive of our healthy clean eating habits. A true man, he fell in love with me when I was overweight and continued to love me for who I am. I recall my aunt told me that he is a keeper. On reflection, I'm sure it must be tricky for him to love me through my insecurities about my body. God is fair. When I was young, I wrote a list of everything I want for in a husband and here is he. I can't ask for a better husband really.

At home, he listens to why I choose to eat the way I would like to. He never complains about what I put on the table. He did say however, that he is glad I like my meat. He took to heart about my research on food and now, he voluntarily reduced the amount of rice and noodles till once if not none in the week.

It's only recently that I started baking again. It certainly feels good knowing that hubby gets a healthy breakfast, but also nutritious as well. We are not "big" demonstrators- and I know that he gets my message that I care for him as he toasts a slice of avocado banana bread for breakfast.

Avocado Banana Bread. Serves 12
1 cup of Almond meal
1 tsp bicarb powder
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp of cinnamon
2 eggs
1 Avocado
1/2 cup of greek yogurt
1 banana mashed
1 tsp of honey
1 tsp of cinnamon
1 tsp of vanilla paste

1 extra banana for topping


Whisk eggs, yogurt, honey, vanilla together. Place almond meal, all powders and cinnamon in a separate bowl. Fold wet to dry, adding in avocado as well. Place sliced banana on top of the bread. Bake in a preheated 180 oven for 40-45 minutes.

Happy Birthday to my darling hubby. I'm so blessed to be able to spend the last 13 years and call you my partner for the past 7.5 years (4.5 of which we are married). And yes, I did make you a dessert for your birthday to have when you are home! 

Thai Larb Salad

Hello 2014! Truth be told, the year 2013 passed really quickly for me. I have not worked since mid June 2013, and it is as if time stopped when Asher arrived.

However, I felt that much has changed in our lives. Yes, having a baby means we rarely head out in the evenings. That is a positive thing as we took time to wind down, relax and get things organised for the next day. Yes, there are sacrifices that we made. We are much more conscious about expenditure and we eat out less. We try not to plan too many things through the day as that seem to make Asher more cranky.

Personally though, having a baby tested me big time. I love to be in control. Guess what, having a baby means I have to think this differently. Yes, things do not always get done- that's ok. It will get done another day. Asher needs me to get on the floor to play with him as soon as I can. I have to remind myself, a baby isn't a baby for long. He is going to grow and one day, I'm going to miss having this time with him. After all, it is a huge luxury to be home with him for the first year of his life.

Organisation. I have two nappy bags. A bigger one with everything in it- spare clothes for me, a small rattle/book toy, spare nappies, change of clothes for him, wet wipes, lip balm, tissues..etc. It's truly a mummy's bag. More often though, I travel with a smaller sling bag with the bigger bag in the car. That is also a change mat which makes my life so much easier when he decides to "go" in the car and there isn't a change room anywhere in sight.

Flexibility and time management. Asher is the most awake and alert in the morning and right after his nap. I try to time and plan any activity around that period of time. We have a routine, but we do not run on a tight schedule. Oh, and always leave 5-10 minutes earlier than what I think we need.

Relationship. This is an interesting one. As I'm home more often, hubby gets less stressed about needing to share his load of housework. Clothes are actually folded (more often), floors are clean. I try to do more while it is not always possible, so that when he is home, he gets more time with Asher. However, I certainly appreciate hubby even more when he hangs the clothes out before I wake up, and do the occasional vacuum! Not only that, we learn to speak to each other in a calmer manner. We argue less as the focus is us as a family-perhaps less as an individual. That is the biggest change. We think the big picture more. I love him more because I see all the smaller things he did before and all the sacrifices he has to made. Most of all, how much he adores Asher and us as a family.

 I thought I might start the new year with a fresh new recipe. It is thai inspired and packed full of flavours. It's also one of my "quick no fuss" meals to have handy for the week. Hubby recently started a herb garden so I'm looking forward to having fresh basil in our cooking very soon.

Thai Larb Salad (serves 4)
500 grams pork mince
1 tsp garlic
2 chili padi chopped
2-3 sprigs of spring onion chopped
1 red onion chopped
1 carrot chopped
1 capsicum chopped
3-4 button mushrooms chopped
1 tablespoon of soy
1 tablespoon of mirin
2-3 tablespoon of fish sauce
white pepper
2 tablespoon of pine nuts or cashew nuts

4 bunches of basil leaves

Cos lettuce to serve with.

Saute red onion, chill and garlic till done. Brown mince. Add all the vegetables with a splash of water if the mixture gets too dry. Add in all sauces and cool well. You can either toast pine nuts and add to it or add it in the pan straight up. Just before serving, add 2 bunches of basil leaves to the pan and toss through. The heat should wilt the leaves gently.

Serve on a bed of cos lettuce and more basil leaves.

Quick Fix Egg Tarts

With one piece of puff pastry left in the freezer, I was wondering how can I make use of it. Then Sonia from Nasi Lemak Lover posted her Egg Tart with Puff Pastry and I knew that I have found my answer.

Egg tarts has a special meaning for the two of us. When hubby asked me to be his girl friend, he took me to a lovely quiet spot near a river armed with an egg tart. I was still in university and he just started working. He picked me up after my late classes and told me he was worried that I would be hungry (as I usually am after my classes), hence the egg tart. We were good friends who went for a few dates before that evening and I thought nothing of it. When he did utter the question " I have been thinking, I really enjoy spending time with you and I know you like the time we have together too, so would you be my girlfriend?", I was just slightly surprised.

Two hours of questioning later, I agreed. Most of my friends still give me grieve that I  "tortured" him with my questions in our early stages of dating. While I was initially embarrassed, I was glad we clear up some expectations and thoughts early on, which probably helped us prepare our lives together. If you are wondering, these questions were about his future plans, career pathways, religion and beliefs and seriousness about the relationship. My line of thinking was, I'm not going to waste my time if he isn't serious!

Oh fun times indeed. So while I have not yet master the art of making proper egg tarts yet, I managed to surprise hubby with these little treats when he came home late from work one evening.

Quick Fix Egg Tarts  (makes 8 mini egg tarts)
1 piece of puff pastry cut into 8 pieces
3 eggs
40 grams of sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 tsp of vinegar

Whisk eggs, sugar, vanilla and vinegar. Strain it twice. Place pastry into muffin or tart tin. Pour egg mixture into casing. Bake in a preheated 180C oven for around 25-30 minutes till golden brown.

Filling the Gaps

It seems like yesterday when we became a couple. Then we got engaged, married...and a blink of an eye, it has been two years.

The first year, it was a year of discovery. A steep learning curve where we learned how to live with each other. To communicate, to put us first when making decisions. It was bitter sweet.

The second year though, I'm learning how to relax. I'm slowly realising that God gave us different gifts for a reason. For example, he knows that I become anxious when it comes to household finances, so He sent you to calm me down and take control in that department. Oh, and He knows that I need someone to wake me up in the morning, keep warm when it's winter and wave your magic wand with excel file sheets (and all IT related situations).  Funny enough, you need me to provide you alternative perspectives, organise meals, connect with others and remember things (e.g. birthdays, things,..). 

 We are so different individuals. I like decisions to be made fast. You like to ponder. I'm anxious. You are calm. I grew up in a traditional Cantonese household. You grew up in a family rich in different cultures. I enjoy cooking in the kitchen. You prefer eating instead. I like the produce of the garden. You do the gardening. You literally planned all the electrical and data points of our future home. I prefer to look at the general layout, and how we are going to live there. I love eggplant. You want bittergourd.

And how we fight. Not in a bad way, but because we are different, we clash at times. Interestingly, it's never the big issues that we clash. It's the smaller, minute, day to day stuff. Like what time we are heading out to breakfast. Or whether or not we are heading out to groceries in the morning or afternoon. Those silly stuff that does not matter in the end. But I'm learning.

I'm learning that.. I have gaps. You have gaps. together we fill gaps.

At first these gaps were disturbing. You were quicker than me to accept that. I was perplexed and wondered how can we be so different? I had to resist the urge to impose me on you. 

I went back to our vows. And there it was. Would you believe it? We wrote our vows to complement each other. You said you will be the one to calm me down, to hold me... I said that I will fill you up, work together and encourage you regardless.

And because we fill each other gaps, we vowed to "Accomplish more than we ever could alone."

God Almighty is amazing. He said it in Genesis 2:18. It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

And he gave me the privilege to do so.

I pray and hope that in the next year. I will have a thankful heart to appreciate and accept these differences.

To my dear husband. Happy 2 Year Anniversary.... and many more to come.

Happy New Year!

The year 2010- another year full of memories and life lessons. I thought a good way to sum up the year is to have a look at the all those beautiful moments and capture them in a post.

Highlights:

• Started the New Year in Paris (plus Pierre Hermes' macarons)!

• We survived one year of marriage!! Woohoo!
• Attended and be part of the bridal party for my closest friends. 
• Emcee for the first time at a dinner banquet for my best friend. 

• We bought sand land and will be building our home in 2011.

•  We had the BEST road trip from Adelaide to Melbourne.

•  Headed to Sydney and tried Guylian Chocolate Cafe and saw the Blue Mountains. (although my tummy felt really ill after the chocolate, the pain was worth it!)

•  And officially on 30th of Dec 2010, achieved a milestone in my career. A goal that I have been aiming for since year 2000 when I arrived in Australia. 

And my cooking and baking highlights? 

• Learned that simple is good. Totally enjoyed my Star Anise Stew Pork with Soya Egg.

• My family favourite- Dom Steamed Chicken 

• Learned that chocolate hazelnut cake can be enjoyed! 

• Totally happy with my pavolva!

•  My cheesecake that did not crack!!!!!!

Goals for 2011:

• To continue to make changes and improve the appearance and accessibility to content of this blog.
• Try making curry!! (from scratch!!!)
• Ice-cream making perhaps. 
• Continue my quest to find the best chocolate chip cookie recipe. 
• To create more beautiful memories with my family and friends.
• Accelerating to our dreams. 
• To live more, laugh louder and breathe deeper when challenges cross our paths. 
• Looking forward to the building process of our new home. 
• To be even more respectful and loving towards my hubby. 
• A closer journey with God. 

Wherever you are, here is wishing you a FANTASTIC NEW YEAR.  May each step you take in the New Year bring you closer to your dreams.